Let’s redefine what it means to ‘become a Mum.’
By Kerrie Turner
I’ve been a Mum for 8.5 years, and it’s only now I understand that the changes that come with navigating this incredible job, are completely natural. I was in fact not alone in feeling how I felt and thinking what I thought. You see, I recently discovered a word that has changed everything. That word is matrescence.
In the very first episode of our podcast, How Motherhood Changed Me, we had a fantastic chat with journalist, author and matrescence advocate, Amy Taylor-Kabbaz. Amy spoke to us about everything, from the ridiculous expectation that we should simply “know what we’re doing” when we first have a baby, to the idea of matricentric feminism.
We all accept adolescence is a huge time of transition and change for young people – yet the physical, emotional and psychological transition into motherhood has been largely neglected for far too long.
Now we have a word that encompasses that transition and transformation. It validates the complexities that come with becoming a mother, and it acknowledges the journey is so much more than simply the birth of a baby – it’s also the birth of a mother.
Reflecting on my own journey, I can’t believe how much this one word – matrescence – resonates with my experience. The early days and weeks of motherhood were a whirlwind of sleepless nights, constant feeds and the most overwhelming sense of responsibility, yet I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, or whether what I was doing was right! I often felt like I was losing myself, that asking for help might be seen as a sign of failure. I didn’t know who I was outside of my new role as a mother. Yet wanted it to appear as though I had everything together. How ridiculous, Kerrie!
Discovering the word matrescence has given me the validation that the struggles and changes I faced, were not isolated to only me – but rather, they were a completely natural part of the transition into motherhood.
I am so grateful for the insights Amy shared with us, and while we joked about being “Amy’s Angels” and helping spread the word ‘matrescence’ far and wide, I genuinely do want to see attitudes change.
I have an 8.5 year old daughter. If she chooses to become a mother one day, I don’t want her to feel as alone as I did. It’s time for society to change how it views this enormous transition in a woman’s life. It’s not just about me, or my girlfriends.. it’s about paving the way for future generations.
I want my daughter to live in a world that honours and supports the transformation to motherhood. I want her to feel seen, heard and valued should she one day find herself navigating the changes of matrescence.
All of this, has been inspired by the powerful and honest conversation we had in our very first episode.
If you haven’t already, please listen to Episode One of ‘How Motherhood Changed Me’, share your own experiences and together let’s redefine what it means to become a Mum.
